When ideas randomly collide–Saturday morning reading

Musings on the Short Stories for Paris Salon Intensive April 2014

Sometimes two random pieces connect in the mind by sheer accident—but the way they speak to each other becomes something more than coincidence. As I re-read ‘Boys and Girls’ today, I also read a piece on Laura Bates and her blog, Everyday Sexism (http://everydaysexism.com)  and there was the clang. Alice Munro has a gift for exposing the strange customs of our realm—the realm I live in & have formed my identity and relationships in- without direct commentary but in a way that as reader, I stand back somewhat aghast at this odd, normalized world.

“Girls don’t slam doors like that.” “Girls keep their knees together when they sit down.” And worse still, when I asked some questions, “That’s none of girls’ business.” I continued to slam the doors and sit as awkwardly as possible, thinking that by such measures I kept myself free. –“Boys and Girls”

This short story concerns itself with how a girl learns to be a girl-and how awkward that learning is. The story was written fifty years ago and is set in a time before then—but still; there is something recognizable about the way we are socialized to a reduced form of ourselves (boys AND girls) to ‘right’ ways of behavior and an acceptance of inequities that stated openly, I would not accept.  The blog Laura Bates started to simply hear (is that the right verb for electronic admissions?) examples of everyday sexism has hit an unexpected nerve and revealed a level of daily sexism that is astounding. And here is the meet for me: as a deep believer in the power of relationships to bridge divides (gender, nationality, age, race, beliefs…) I can not believe how far we have not come. Or how short a distance we have gone in our ability to reduce gender oppression knowing as much as we do.

I appreciate stories and narratives for this: whatever maybe bubbling and sawing away in my mind suddenly gains shape when carefully crafted as an objective portrayal. My own struggles and turmoil clarifies against the experience of another—and I gather words and examples to sift the chaos of feelings. This is only the start of the process of actively working for positive change—but then we come together in a group, we talk about the issues raised in the literature and our own lives—and we turn away with strength and company in the strangeness of life.