I attended a lecture (thanks to an organised Salonista) a few weeks ago given by Daniel Goleman: psychologist and author of Emotional Intelligence promoting his recent book, Focus. His subject, the nature of attention and how this is under siege in our media-interrupted world was deeply stirring: I still find myself hyper-aware of attending to a conversation, an interaction–of observing and re-focusing my attention which tends to gallop about like a leashed toddler in an airport. I love going to lectures, particularly on non-fiction books — even though my approach to best practice in teaching is the opposite of this model. The downside is of course the like a TED talk, I know I should then buy the book but somehow the experience of the lecture has given me enough to chew upon…
But here are a few nuggets I took away from his lively talk:
- Ingredients of good rapport: full mutual attention, non-verbal synchronisation and the sense that it feels good…for this to occur, each must take an active stand against distractions–think about the internal collapse you feel when the person you are speaking to checks their messages while conversing…distractions can be sensory but also equally powerful are emotional
- while reading, the average mind wanders 20-40%
- attention is a mental muscle that is strengthened by use…the danger is depending on externals to grab our attention vs. controlling and focusing our attention by choice
- we can develop the ability to orient at will
- Goleman calls for a redefinition of Good Work: combining what we are good at with what we are passionate about & ethically aligned towards
- to deal with a sense of a frazzled life, create a daily practice (meditation, walks, yoga, knitting, poetry, play with your dog) to capture calm: allows the brain circuits for emotion, attention and empathy to intersect–the practice you give to attention in this way leeches out to other parts of brain life=total fulfilment (well, he didn’t actually guarantee that –but the air of optimism he created made me feel this is possible…)
- we were able to witness Goleman put his attention to practice: the first question he took, from a well-dressed and loud gentleman, was provocative to the point of extremely prejudiced (“Shouldn’t we just admit that there are pockets of society, i.e., low income, impoverished, slovenly that can not be educated?”) and Goleman, rather than turning away in disgust, found a point about the educability of all to respond to and expand upon–it was impressive. I would have been spitting.
Overall, thought-provoking and yes, I changed some habits as a result. Now I guess I should buy his book. These ideas for me are particularly relevant in reflection of the works I am preparing for the current Salons. To the Lighthouse, for example, can not be read with a sleepy mind. Even this, my 10th? reading, requires my full attention: each sentence spins in its unique space, requiring my mind to leap and play with the writing while questioning the idea of objective knowledge, of truly understanding another person, of living beyond the debris and loss of the existence we are given.
So my mind is strengthened.
